Faith Isn't Cool
Faith Isn't Cool
Me, Jesus, American Spirits - a song and a story
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Me, Jesus, American Spirits - a song and a story

Listen to Me, Jesus, American Spirits or download it for later.
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It can be really intimidating to write about your faith. It can be even more intimidating to write about feeling like a failure in your faith. Because of the nature of salvation, it is so easy to fall into feeling inadequate, too far gone, or like a disappointment after coming to Christ. That’s the place that Me, Jesus, American Spirits comes from.

I will be (scarily) vulnerable with you here and say that the original lyrics of this song were very different. I wrote the first version of it before I gave my life to Christ, and was particularly loud about being anti-Christian. The song was about hating God, knowing better than God, (some straight garden of Eden behavior). 

When I came to Christ, I felt so guilty about my past. As I was playing through songs I had written, I felt so guilty I had ever said something so terrible about the God that (literally) saved my life. The song was banished from my songbook for months. As I grew into my faith, and struggled to let go of alcohol and cigarettes and the rest of it - I went back to this song. I took it and rewrote it because it felt like its own answered prayer. 

There I was—rewriting a song about hating Jesus into one about desperately wanting to love Him better. Writing lyrical evidence of forgiveness from the very God I used to swear was full of hate. Speaking those struggles out loud, giving it a story helped me give those struggles to Jesus and work through them. 

I haven’t been drunk (or anything other than sober) in over a year (but I still love a single vodka cran). More recently, I am nicotine free for 3 weeks. Slowly but surely. 

I am not a perfect Christian, no one is. This song is for those moments when you can’t wrap your head around being loved in spite of your sin. This song is for feeling too far gone. This song is for anyone that needs a reminder that Jesus loves you - and wants to help you out of your struggle, not abandon you for ever falling down. 

Anyway, here’s Me, Jesus, American Spirits. I hope you like it!

I decided to use the recording that I did when I originally wrote the song instead of a new one (I might make a new one that is stronger vocally another day) I think that sometimes hearing the authenticity and the mindset it was written in can really help you see the vision a little bit. Maybe. Who knows.

(Thank you to Haylee who has been so kind and sweet about this song.)

I love you because you exist,

Faith

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